If you were a fly on the wall...

Conversations heard around our home:

DH: Baby, can you do me a favor?

Me: Sure but... you have to Justin Bieber me first

DH (giving me quizzical look): Huh?

Me: Yeah, before I do you the favor you have to do this: (holding hands together and moving them rhythmical in classic Bieber style) and then sing "and I was like baby, baby, baby, ohhh"

DH: That is not a Justin Bieber song, that is a Temptations song as in: baby, baby, where did our love go"

Me: This is a Justin Bieber song and that is what you have to do

DH: baby, baby, baby, ohhh (half-assing the movements)

Me: you forgot the "and I was like", that is the best part

Needless to say DH won't be asking me for favors any time soon ~ the cost is too high.

After any number of situations:

Me: say it

DH: you were right...

While on the couch:

Me: bug, bug, bug!!

DH (squishing it with my phone): there

Me (sarcastically): thanks for squishing it with my phone

DH: sorry, I realized after I squished it that I used your phone for it but look, no guts on it or anything 


Often:
Me: UUUGGGHHH!!!! You did it again
DH: what...?


On several occasions:
DH: good morning!
Me: hmpf!
DH: what??
Me: you upset me in my dream, I can't believe you did xyz!
DH: you know it was just a dream, right? I didn't really do anything...
Me: it still upset me
DH: sorry for whatever I did in your dream, I won't do it again, I promise
Me: okay, good morning