Close encounters of the Law kind

I love lawyer shows.  My heart belongs to a lawyer.  I listen to law cases discussed all the time at least until my eyes glaze over and then I just pretend to listen.  I work with law enforcement day in and day out, I even have a few cops I would <gulp> call my friends... but I have never had to deal with the law until this summer, prepare yourself for: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE LAW KIND - cue Wilhelm scream.

Okay, for those of you who don't know, I was in a little fender-bender in May where I grazed the car in front of me in order to avoid being rear-ended full on by an asshat in rush-hour traffic and creating a multiple car crash (because my car would have hit the one in front for sure).  This got me a ticket for "careless driving" which I was totally POed about because I was being careful trying to avoid a BIG accident.  I kept hearing from people, "you should have just let that car hit you, you could be avoiding all this mess" - and by mess they meant having to go to court because the ticket didn't give me a monetary amount that I could pay immediately (not that I would have).

My attorney (also know as DH - Dear Hubby) and I went to court.  My attorney thought I could explain the situation and plead down to something more reasonable, be happy and done with it.  But nooooooo, turns out the City Attorney we dealt with is a total bully and thought he would force me to pay with a different charge of "following to closely" (which I wasn't).  My attorney advised me to plead not guilty and stand up for myself.  At this point, half of me just wanted to make the mess go away but it was overpowered by the half that wanted to stand up to the bully so I went with counsel's advice.  The judge was so shocked she did a double take... yep, that's me, shocking judges since 2011.  I gotta tell you though, I felt super-duper important standing there speaking to the judge with my attorney slightly behind and to the left of me offering me advice like when the judge asked: jury or judge? My attorney whispered: jury. And then I answered like a puppet sans hand stuck up my body (for a more natural effect).  After that I went to see the clerk and set a date for my trial - fun times.

Two weeks later I get a jury summons.  I have somehow always been lucky enough to have gotten out of jury duty.  Could I have this time? Yes.  But I chose not to, I decided that if I was going to have a jury trial might as well understand the jury experience, right?  Let me just say that the difference between Arapahoe County (where I live) and Denver County (where I had my traffic thingy) is like ice cream and cake - both desserts, both sugary.... but nothing alike.  To begin with the courthouse in Arapahoe County is nice, it looks and smells clean, you can tell it is well cared for and the placing is actually welcoming... in Denver County the building makes you feel like you are up sh*t creek without a paddle right away with a slight smell of urine in certain corners.  Jury duty was interesting, it was fun listening to answers and thinking "you're not going to make the cut buddy", the judge I was assigned to was really nice, what I imagine I good judge to be like, overall a positive experience. Denver... not so much.


Two weeks before my trial asshat City Attorney adds some BS charge about changing lanes unsafely or something - ugh!  Night before my trial - I got to do what the pros call "prep" more like torture, but I do have new insight and appreciation for what DH does.  How did it end? My attorney has told me to answer: truth and justice prevailed.  My interpretation of that: stand up to bullies and you just might get to kick them in the nuts once in a while, like in this case!

Falling from Grace

It has been an 'interesting' few months... and by 'interesting' I really mean scary, sad, and uncomfortable.  Don't get me wrong, this hasn't been an ongoing and ever-present thing throughout the past few months but more of something like the Whack-an-Alligator game that you find at places like Dave & Busters where you whack the gator and it retreats but sure enough it comes right back out while speeding up.  It also hasn't been the only thing going on in my life, (more to come in future posts) so when the alligator attacks from the hiding hole it can exacerbate other irritants.  


What happened?  I fell from Grace.  What does that mean?  I fell out of favor with someone who can seem/feel God-like, at least to me.  How did that feel?  Scary, really scary.  Like I was taking a bungee jump with no bungee cord.  It meant consciously making a break from indoctrinated behavior, thought process and automatic response.  Sad, because I had chosen to ignore deplorable flaws as long as they didn't apply to me or affect me too much but now they can no longer be swept under the rug or hidden in the back room like we used to do to our 'touched' relatives.  And most of all uncomfortable, because falling from Grace meant hurting another in the process (not on purpose but inevitable), letting go of things I thought I knew and taking a big leap while trusting that the person I've become could do this.  All in all, let's just say wwwwwaaaaaayyyyy outside my comfort zone.


Falling from Grace has also meant awesome discoveries, like true and kind love, what having a tribe looks like, affirmation, confirmation and solidifying of affection/relationships, how to forgive myself and learning that I am strong enough to hold on to what I deem true and right... for me.  It has allowed me to grow as a person, I've learned to take the hit (although painful) instead of hitting back, and boy is it hard and tempting to hit back - I know that the alligator is hurting and therefore lashing out.  Could I hurt it some more by whacking it back?  Absolutely.  But I'm trying my best to resist even grabbing the mallet to avoid doing any further damage.


Unlike what we are taught by most religions, falling from Grace hasn't been a punishment, it has been a journey of discovery.  I have however willingly and conscientiously chosen to disobey and rebel by not conforming to the norm, I have chosen myself.