Thank you for being a friend

Yes, you know I'm quoting the cheesy Andrew Gold song used for the show "The Golden Girls" but recently I've realized how in society we tend to say "thank you" to people for actions such as holding the door open for us as we walk into some place, watching the kids while we take care of something (in my case the pets), lending us some sugar, a couple of eggs or even a vacuum cleaner, or doing us a favor but how often do we say to someone: thank you for being you, for being there for me, for being a friend?  How often do we let people know just how much they mean to us?


Last week, my friend Chef moved back to Mexico to open his restaurant Xix-ím and two wonderful ladies had planned a surprise going-away get together before his departure.  I had a massive headache/migraine all day that day and DH wasn't feeling too hot either but (and this one of the reasons I love him so much) he still accompanied me and drove to Sullivan's so we could say "see you soon" and "good luck" to Chef.  We got there late because I had a late meeting so Chef was already there along with others.  When he saw us, his face lit up, he got up from his seat and gave me the biggest bear hug (Chef is a big guy and his hugs are pretty good) ever!  He kept saying "que bueno verte" and "no lo puedo creer" with me saying back "we wouldn't have missed this".  I think because we were late he thought we wouldn't be showing up.  


As we sat down, ordered and such Chef introduced me to the husband of one of the organizers (I know her but hadn't met him) and said: Jenny is one of my dearest friends, she is one of the first people I met when I moved to Denver and she just always made me feel so at home here.  My jaw nearly dropped.  I care a lot for Chef, he's a great guy with a caring spirit, loads of talent (and never lets his fame amongst Latinos go to his head as a local celebrity) and he is always happy to go along with my crazy ideas but I had no idea that this is what I meant to him, in 5 years he had never said a word.  We had a nice time that night regardless of our ailments and on our way home I kept thinking about what Chef had said and it made me think of my lovely friend Meche.


I met Meche 7 years ago when we both went through a leadership program together.  Recently she told me that our get-togethers were really important to her since I was part of her familia.  That group of people that first accepted and loved her for who she is right after moving to Denver.  I could have won an Oscar that night for not letting my jaw drop and all I kept thinking about was how I could have nearly not been a part of that and what a loss that would have been for me.  You see, my gay-dar is pretty sucky unless the person flaunts it, and by flaunting it I mean saying to my face: I'm gay/queer/transgender/etc.  We were in a leadership program with all women and didn't necessarily feel comfortable sharing everything about who we were and Meche wasn't going to tell everyone - hey, I'm a lesbian!  I remember always asking Meche if she had a love interest (never a boyfriend which is my normal M.O.) amongst other things (she was kinda shy) but I didn't know she wasn't straight and didn't find out until almost the end of the program.  She said she always felt safe and accepted by me and all I can think is "by the Grace of the Universe I never asked her if she had a boyfriend which might not have made her feel accepted" - can you imagine if I had? YAY Universe!!!


Common thread or point I'm trying to make you say?  I had no idea what I meant to Chef or Meche until they said something which takes me back to the original thought of this posting, how often do we let people know what they mean to us?  Not their actions mind you, but them, the person who can make a world of difference?  Rarely.   


Recently, I decided to tell my friend Patty what an important role she played in my life (and still does), I was nervous and feeling slightly uneasy (even though this is the friend I call to spill my guts to ALL the time) it took courage, although I'm not sure why but afterwards I felt so much better knowing that she now knew one more reason why she was/is so special to me.


My challenge to you: pick a couple of people in your life who mean a lot and then tell them.  It will make you feel closer to each other, because knowing how much you mean to someone makes you be a better friend to them and it's lovely to feel appreciated.