Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

I lie.  Don't judge, cause you do it too.  Really.  We all do it, ALL the time.  Don't try denying it cause then you'd be lying.  We lie because it makes social interactions go smoothly.  We lie because we know that words can sting and hurt.  We lie because we want to make our friends and loved ones feel better.  We lie because we don't want to be rejected or punished.  We lie to save face, to avoid conflict, and to keep from rocking the boat.  We lie to avoid having to face an unpleasant truth about ourselves.  I mainly lie to not feel judged.  


When DH and I first starting dating we made a pact.  When you ask the other person "are you lying?" they must absolutely answer with the truth (so either yes or no).  These interactions go something like this:
     Me: Did you do x, y and z?
     DH: Mhm.
     Me: Are you lying?
     DH: Mhm.
     Me: Please go do x, y and z, ASAP.
You don't have to explain why you lied, you just have to tell the truth.  Sometimes, we answer with "maybe".  This is normally followed by an explanation like: yes, I am lying, but otherwise it'll spoil the surprise.  The other person will then let the issue go.  I don't know why but it has worked for 15 years.


This pact however, has not stopped me from lying to the rest of the world.  In the past few years I have tried to practice having honest relationships with people.  This can be really hard to do because it seems to me that people want to be lied to.  With some friends I can say something like: "I know we made plans but I'm really not up to it", I can explain to these friends why I don't want to do it and they don't judge.  I can say anything including: I'm just not in the mood, I just want to hang out on my couch by myself, I'm feeling grumpy cause I got in an argument with someone or I'm tired.  Most people don't want to hear this.  They want you to suck it up and put on a good face.  They think it's about them and take things personally, feelings get hurt and so on.


So, my solution to this is that I will now post the most common lies I use.  I hope you read it and know that when I use these I just might be lying to you.  Believing is your choice.  But know that I would instead rather have the relationship where I could just give you an honest answer and not have our relationship suffer because of it.


The lies I say the most:


1- I don't know.  This one buys me time to come up with a better way to respond with what you want to hear instead of just blurting whatever is on my mind and possibly hurting or upsetting you.
2- I didn't get the message.  Most likely I did get it and chose to ignore it for any number of reasons such as: I was in a bad mood, I didn't want to talk to you, I think you are an asshat and didn't care to help you out.
3-  Mmmmm, this (insert food product here that you prepared) was so good - yum!  Cause if we're honest, you don't want to hear that I didn't like it or that you did something wrong like forget to add salt, overcooked it, or any other number of things.  I am trying to not use this and instead just say something like: "thanks for sharing this, it was really nice of you to do", which it totally was nice of you to do!
4- I'm on my way.  And technically I am on my way, but just haven't made it as far on that way as you would expect/want.  Perhaps I'm just getting out of bed and heading towards the shower but hey, you are my eventual destination.  Don't judge.
5- I can't, I'm busy and I'd love to, but...  yeah, this means I wouldn't love to.  Normally, when I would really love to but can't I say something more like: "aw, crap/damn".  I'm also not busy, I just don't feel like it.  And of course I can, but I don't want to.
6- That's cute.  No, probably not; at least not to me.  But if you're asking me that's what you want to hear.  I really want to say that I don't like it but it doesn't matter because we don't have the same taste and if you like it that's all that matters but you don't want to hear that.
7- That makes sense/I get it.  Because if I don't follow I look like a moron, and this moron doesn't like to be judged for being a moron who doesn't follow what you're saying.


I would never lie.  I willfully participate in a campaign of misinformation. - Fox Mulder

Personal Manifesto for 2012

Pepparkaka... which is to say Gingerbread in Swedish, although I agree it tastes like caca.

So, before I move forward with the obligatory New Year resolution post I have to tell you all about my Gingerbread Lane.  I had never made a gingerbread house in my life before so I absolutely had to do it this year and I thought it would be a lot more fun with some friends to sucker into this.  Cause adults decorating houses after drinking a little are way better at it than children have ever been.

I will confess that I started out with the idea that I would make the dough, and then the parts AND the icing as well since I was to provide the brick and mortar but I just didn't have time/gumption/desire, etc.  So I bought the houses already adorably made at IKEA and then bought the icing at my local supermarket's bakery.  Guests brought the decorations...

Getting all set up to start - notice the BIG bottle of wine a wonderful guest brought!

Getting started with the foundation

My very first Gingerbread House!

The wonderful friend who brought the wine, also drank it - said she was inspired by the neighborhood we work in, rrrriiiigggghhhhttttt, it had nothing to do with the wine.

The experienced Gingerbread House decorator

My first one!

Gingerbread Lane...

My house had to be relocated - for easy access.

For the insurance claim after disaster struck!

Tons of fun, will most likely become a yearly tradition for adult friends to hang out, relax, have a little wine, eat tons of candy and if time allows decorate a gingerbread house!

My dog is a pirate gangsta.

Our dog Aggie has a gazillion health issues.  He had cataracts in both eyes which led to blindness, a retina being detached, glaucoma and having his left eye removed = pirate.  

He is also allergic to the state of Colorado, meaning prairie grass, aspen trees, flea saliva and pretty much anything living so he has a ton of skin conditions which have led to the thinning of his fur.  DH thought it was hi-la-rious to buy Aggie a sweater that would help keep him warm in the style of a hoodie = gangsta.  

A couple of weeks ago the temperature in Denver was frigid, below freezing, single digits and teens which meant Aggie needed to wear his sweater, I was the recipient of several picture text messages which made me think of Coolio's Gangstas Paradise (it's okay to sing along)

"...As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left, 'cause I've been blasting and laughing so long that even my momma thinks that my mind has gone..."

Whatcha' doin', fool?

Thug life

Don't make me bust a cap in you...

Breakfast makes me sleepy

Trust me, these are all better than the other ones DH comes up with like: "you are just so cute, yes you arrgghhh!"  Aren't you happy I shared?

If you want me to, I do.

Have you heard that the 7 year itch has now become the 3 year itch?  Apparently, after 3 years people are bored and annoyed with each other - things like weight gain, toe-nail clippings on the bathroom floor and snoring are passion killers so I'm in trouble because I'm pretty sure I've done all three of those, although mine are cute and endearing snores... and love handles... but not the toe-nail clippings, those are just gross no matter what.  This is also the time when couples start taking each other for granted so let me spell it out for you:

Feeling annoyed/bored + Taking for Granted = Aw, crap!

How do you avoid this?  You don't really.  You remember that marriage like everything else in life ebbs and flows.  Sometimes you are going to be annoyed, you are going to take and be taken for granted, and times may be rough and tough, but you are also going to be charmed, marveled and loved.  And it isn't all on the other person - cause you aren't a slice of heaven either all the time, mmmm'kay?


But this doesn't really matter for my relationship because today is our 9th wedding anniversary (if you are keeping count, with dating that means a total of 15 years together) BOOYAH!!  How do we do it, you ask?  Hmmm, let me share with you my wisdom: I have no freaking clue!  I think it's because neither one of us is willing to give in and let the other person just be happy - kidding!  Also, I got lucky and DH just adores me no matter what (love handles and all), he really has so little freaking clue I just keep him so distracted he forgets to take any action but sometimes he realizes how little clue he has, conversation a couple of nights ago:


Me: Hello?!?! You are now supposed to reciprocate the compliment I just gave you. 
DH: Oh! Were you fishing for something here? Well, I'm sorry cause I just really suck at that game, I suck at being a fish.
Me: Really? How so?
DH: This is me, swimming along in the pond, totally clueless looking for something to eat: Hi worm! Mmmmm, I'm hungry... do you know where I could find some food, worm?
True story.

I really debated about what I should write for this post.  Should I do an open love letter to DH?  Should I impart words of wisdom from the lessons I have learned over the years?  Or should I just rub it in people's faces that we've made it this far?  Obviously, I had to go with the last one, cause I'm not a sage so no wisdom here (although I love to think I have some) and let's face it, if I'm going to get super mushy no one really needs to see/read that except the intended.  

Thanks honey - for all the years, the laughter and tears and to many, many more!

My house has so many decorations it looks like an elf pooped Xmas all over it... and maybe has diarrhea.

I know! A complete turn-around from last year's post!!! SO many things have changed!! I don't have the bah-humbug attitude this year but I also have a whole different relationship (if you can call it that) with my relatives.... my how things change in 12 freaking months!


I am almost done with decorating inside the house and have done most of the decorating on the outside as well, there is a strand of lights however that is just being an asshat and won't cooperate with the "vision" I have for the lights.  We have a completely decorated tree, garland and wreaths hanging at almost every window, stockings are hung, decorations on bookshelves and flower arrangements in every room.  I have gotten presents for a few special people, wrapped them and delivered most of them.  Our "happy new year" cards designed by yours truly have gone out to many but I'm not done yet.


The past couple of years I realized that we weren't being very good about incorporating traditions from both sides of the family so we have focused on bringing DH's Swedish heritage into the mix including ordering a pair of tomtar and going to Georgetown's Christmas Market to look for and purchase a yule goat because what says Christmas more than a yule goat, right?  The yule goat's job is to protect the presents, so we needed a big one - the cat did not get off on the right foot with this new creature under the tree who hindered her playing with ornaments and wrecking havoc but they seem to have made peace with each other.  The trip also gave us some outdoor festival fun that included wassail (which I will try to make at home and if so, recipe and post will follow), ribbon fries, a fried snickers bar and window shopping. 


If that weren't enough, I am having a Gingerbread House-making Party this upcoming Friday.  Thanks to Ikea for having convenient "brick" or gingerbread pieces and I will have to make the "mortar" or royal icing the day of.  Luckily guests are bringing all sorts of candies to decorate.


Finally, I am considering making some St. Lucia buns for Tuesday since it is after all St. Lucia day but it all depends on my mood and how productive I feel, if it happens I will make sure to blog about it with pictures included.

That's Norse the yule goat under the tree on the left.

What prompted this change you ask?  Well, not entirely sure but after Thanksgiving I was just in the spirit of things.  Life is in a better place that's for sure.  Things like my job have worked out in a positive way and I have an additional 10 hour a week part-time job that so far is proving to be a lot of fun.  We are both in pretty good health, physically and mentally.  You can also do a lot of growing in a year (although since our diet we have both shrunk physically - yahoo!).  We have a lot to be grateful and happy for.  Mostly, things just seem to be falling into place, after so very long of feeling like they were all lopsided or topsy-turvy they have started to balance out and how could that not make you feel festive and joyful? 


My hope for you is that your life is also happy, lived in good health and festive for this holiday season and if you feel like sharing, please tell me what gets you in the Christmas spirit!

When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

Well, I've been bad keeping up with the blog because I've been better at just living and having fun.  When we last "met" I was going to do my first 5k at the Dirty Girl Mud Run and then headed to Costa Rica for work.  Here for your enjoyment are before and after pictures of Team Boobees (with one missing Boobee who had to do the run a little later)... just about everyone said they'd want to do it again next year, it was a ton of fun and we are always happy to take new recruits!  Thank you ladies for being game!

Shortly after all this, DH and I headed to Seattle, a colleague/friend who I like to call "Onion" and I were presenting at the National Immigrant Integration Conference and my boss came along for good measure.  As we were walking towards dinner one evening my boss said "the four of us are the start of a good joke: a Jew, a Mormon, a Catholic and a Lawyer walk into...". We got to explore Pike Place Market, the Gum Wall (no one added to it but we did dare each other to lick it), several restaurants and stores, the aquarium and Occupy Seattle, only because you couldn't miss it.  DH and I stayed an extra week to spend some time with our favorite extended family members The Rues, we celebrated both DH's birthday and Halloween in Seattle and also went off exploring on our own into Victoria where they also had an Occupy camp which seemed a lot better than the Seattle one and then Vancouver, by the way, Vancouver has the best sushi e-v-e-r!

Onion pretending to lick the Gum Wall

One of my favorite places in the world: The Rues backyard

DH and I on Halloween - we went to Battle of the Funk Bands!

What Canadian nature looks like, right smack in the middle of Vancouver.

When we returned our dogs acted as though we had abandoned them in the worst way possible, yes, it's horrible when you get to stay in your own home, sleep in your own bed, eat your home-made diet all with the company of a full time pet sitter, we are just terrible, terrible people.... as will be evidenced in a future post entitle something like: Our dog is a Pirate - Gangsta, complete with photos.  


Since then we celebrated my birthday (gracias for the many birthday wishes, one of the perks of Facebook, email, calls and texts) and Thanksgiving.  This year, has been my year to question things and try my best, no matter how uncomfortable to break out of the mold/rut/comfort zone - I mean I just posted a picture of me in a witch costume for Halloween, the last time I got dressed for Halloween was back in 19 - I don't know when, but hey, I did it.  So, this year we did not roast a the turkey, nooooo, we roasted a Turducken - gasp!  In years past, DH has always asked it we could cook the turkey in a new way, either deep fry it or make or a Turducken or something different... so this year it was the year of Turducken.  It was a pain in the a** but not for me, for DH who had to de-bone each bird... here are before and after pictures:

Splayed out for all to see - stuffing included

Had a hard time making it look like a turkey again but here it is

In all it's cooked glory: TA-DA!! Try not to look so jealous!

So, I have you mostly caught up now - posts to come on the upcoming holidays, our wedding anniversary and some miscellaneous stuff (how to be a good or bad house guest, the perils of Facebook, cooking and more), maybe if I say it here I will actually follow through with writing them, let's hope I keep up with my end of the bargain.