Action expresses priorities

Clearly my inactivity on my blog (nothing since December) explains my priorities... I have to be honest, I can't really rate them in order of importance because I think there is a big mosh pit of priorities all at the top vying for the number one spot and I find that I just have to cycle through them as best as I can - talk about learning to juggle! But this blog has not been a part of the mosh pit, it has stood quietly swaying to the music, in the back row, watching everyone else go at it.

Now, here's my dilema: I have a ton of ideas about what I want to write about but no freaking clue where to start. Things like mommy brain, traveling internationally with a 5 month old, baby adventures/personality/frame-of-mind, yummy recipes, celebrations, my opinion of things like Mother's and Father's days and what happens on Facebook during these and any other "holidays", and much more. If I could just straighten out the jumble in my brain I could get started....

Last year, shortly after I became pregnant I read an article in Newsweek that talked about how a woman's brain goes under "maternal programming" which basically involves memory loss in order to make room for new capacities to be a good mommy. Let me just say that this is an ongoing issue for me, this nagging feeling that I have to take care of something but can't remember what that something is (which often happens at the office). I find myself interrupting people often and my interruption normally begins with "I'm sorry I'm interrupting you but if I don't get this out now it will be gone from my brain for who knows how long and I need you to know this before I forget it AGAIN". Yes, like Sisyphus, my memory issues have become my boulder -although it is yet to be determined if I will have to deal with this for an eternity.

Having read this article and the study linked to it has at least made me feel better about the memory problems. I don't feel as if I'm losing it completely. Every time I have this issue I remind myself that it allowed me to acquire other much needed abilities to better care for my child. But here's the thing... dementia and Alzheimer's Disease run in my family. Since around 10 years of age I have worked constantly on my memory abilities and my memory was a source of pride for me (not so much now). Additionally, since 2004 I've worked at keeping up my language skills, making sure my diet has plenty of omega 3 fatty acids, doing crossword puzzles, reading and any other mental exercise I find to be fun in order to maintain to the most important of muscles in good shape. My brain has for a long time, held more importance to me than my body - I watched my maternal grandmother "live" with Alzheimer's Disease for 10 years, let's just say that the last few years I use the verb living in a very liberal manner.

My brain was also affected by pregnancy in another way. Things I used to "care" about like assigning blame to the correct person most of the time this would have been DH, no longer hold any importance to me. I don't care if you were the last person to use the snow scraper and now I can't find it (so you're going to get yelled at for this infraction) and the windshield needs to be cleaned so that we can make it wherever we are going. What matters is that it's cold, the baby is in the car and I don't want her to be cold so we need to get going to warm up the car faster and in order to get going we need to clean the windshield so we NEED to find the scraper and get the windshield cleaned ASAP. I must admit I'm glad to be rid of this part of my personality, I had tried for many years to not care about petty stuff like that but having Bundle "fixed" my brain and this issue.

I have decided that the blog needs to move closer to the mosh pit and further away from the back row, so hopefully, I'll start posting regularly - no promises though. Now that you have a better glimpse of my "mommy" brain, I hope you understand. And if you just need to know what's going on, email or call - I'd love to hear from you!

XO ~ Jenny