Just call me a fuddy-duddy

An adjective that I would normally not use to describe myself but, there are always firsts.  And here is why.  I grew up in a very traditional time in a traditional country... during my formative years I was taught to address everyone who was clearly "older" (I'd say 25 and up) in a couple different ways.

Don/Doña - which doesn't have a direct translation into English but it's essentially a title of courtesy proceeding a man/woman's first name, roughly translated into Lord/Lady - or if you grew up in the South it would be the equivalent of using Mrs. Mary, Mr. Robert or Miss Kathie before a given name as a sign of respect.

Tío/Tía - meaning Uncle/Aunt in Spanish.

Which "title" you were given varied on your relationship to my family (and my parent's choice).  If the person was a close friend of my parents, older cousin of my parents or grandparents, godparent, or the likes, they received the familial title - otherwise everyone else was relegated the more formal title.

Why do I bring this up?  Because it flabbergasts me repeatedly how children in the US are not given direction by their parents as to how to address their elders.  It chafes me to no end to have a 4 year old address me by my given name as though we were equals, but what else is the kid supposed to do other than revert to the "hey, you" or go with the name they hear the parents use?  Rarely have I had a parent "introduce" me to their child so that they know how to address me.  Occasionally, parents will introduce me as "title" Jenny but then fail to use it themselves when referring to me, thus confusing their child.  And while I am fine with adults addressing me by my given name I find it incredibly rude to have a child do so.  

I understand that many people find it okay to have their children refer to their elders by their first name, this is just not something that we see eye to eye on.  I don't believe having children be formal and giving respect verbally to an elder makes them a milquetoast child, but rather one who respects age and knowledge - plus I hope we teach our child that not every adult deserves respect but you should still address them accordingly. 

Also, I recently read an article on this matter.  Mom and Dad were divided, Mom wanting to not be a fuddy-duddy, and Dad being a traditionalist, and how they worked it out.  This led to a very short discussion on the matter with DH, luckily, we both agree in this area, even though he didn't grow up with such formality (but he has been listening to me b**** about it for many years).

Additionally, I was taught to finish most statements with sir or ma'am, an example of what would happen in our household growing up:

My mother (yelling from the opposite end of the house): JJJJJEEEEEENNNNNYYYYYY!!!!

Me (as I walked toward the end of the house she was in): Yes, ma'am? 

A couple of times I dared to answer back: What? 

To which the response from my mother was a  mixture of controlled fury and indignation: What did you just say?

Me: I mean, yes ma'am?

My mother: That's better...

Now, I don't entirely know if I will instill in our child to always use ma'am and sir with DH and I, but definitely with others.  Watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, you'll notice how he addresses elders and how polite it comes across, I love it!  (Clearly, this doesn't mean that if you haven't raised your child this way, your child isn't polite, I am just stating my preference.)  However, you can count on the fact that if you get introduced to our child it will be one of three ways: 

Miss/Ms/Mr First Name

Miss/Ms/Mr Last Name

Tío/Tía or Uncle/Aunt First Name

You are welcome to state your preference for what you would like to be called or we can assign you a title, but whatever happens please don't ever say to our child: "oh, just call me (insert given name here)" because you know that mixture of controlled fury and indignation I mentioned my mother having?  It happens to be a familial trait.  So, just let me be a fuddy-duddy, okay?